"You Look Just Like That Bruce Willis!"

In this 83rd episode of No Hair, All Heart, Mookie Spitz takes listeners on a raw, funny, and deeply personal ride through memory, celebrity, and meaning. It begins in 1980s Chicago, when strangers on the L kept mistaking him for Bruce Willis—back when Willis was still the scrappy everyman of Moonlighting and on the cusp of becoming John McClane. That accidental resemblance snowballed into surreal encounters: paparazzi mistaking him for Willis at a Hollywood party, John Travolta glaring when the crowd’s attention shifted, and the bizarre celebrity déjà vu that comes with being someone’s doppelgänger.

From there, Mookie expands the lens: on America’s obsession with celebrity as a replacement for royalty, the hyper-history of a young country compensating with movie stars, the binary logic of desire (“who you want to sleep with and who you want to be”), and the strange spiritual jolt of meeting icons in mundane places. Along the way, he drops into philosophy: Steven Pinker vs. Daniel Dennett on intentionality, AI as a mirror of our own survival instincts, and the multiverse as a backdrop where every possibility plays out.

His rant all comes back, hilariously and poignantly, to the greatest piece of graffiti he’s ever seen: three crooked words scrawled in a filthy Rush Street bar—bruce willis sucks. That crude Sharpie line becomes a kind of cosmic punctuation, a reminder of mortality, randomness, and the absurd beauty of expression.

Beyond just a celebrity story, his rant is about fathers and dementia, dodging genetic bullets, the odd comfort of lookalikes, and the infinite loops of possibility. He celebrates finding meaning in the throwaway, connection in the random, and truth in the bluntest of declarations.